Who is Sandy and What is Sandy-Land? 

Sandy

The book will be released on October 1, 2025 on Amazon but I will create a page to also sell them on this site. This book has already been targeted to become a series. I will begin taking pre-orders on Sept. 15. You can learn more about it on my Book Page once all the information is available. The book section is a more complicated process.

But now, back to my story.

For eight years, I was the widow of a man I was married to for 31 years.  He died relatively young while in his early fifties.  We have two amazing adult children, a son and a daughter. My deceased husband was an excellent and prominent criminal trial attorney. As a young lawyer right out of law school, he became head of the criminal unit as an Assistant District Attorney in a large southern city.  He prosecuted hundreds of cases for the government and only lost one while he held that office.  He perfected his trial skills while serving in this capacity.  He left the District Attorney’s office after five years to open his own law firm as a very successful criminal defense lawyer defending clients from all over the country.  There is one statement he had shared to me more than once in which I found extremely interesting but he would never elaborate.  This statement was mentioned to me privately after acquaintances and friends would impolitely say to him, “I don’t see how you sleep at night when you defend all those guilty people.”  That comment would obviously come from people who knew nothing about the justice system because if a person had lived, experienced, and understood both sides of the law, that comment would have never been uttered.  Afterward, he would remark to me privately…”I feel more guilty about who I put in prison than the ones I kept out of prison.”  One comment, no explanation.  You will come to understand that vague comment when I share one of the most traumatic experiences we had to endure for four very long years. He could have set them straight by telling them America’s justice system is based on the fair philosophy that a person is innocent until proven guilty and his job is to provide the best defense based on factual evidence in order to give those clients a fair trial.  He wasn’t trying to keep guilty people from being punished, he was providing a fair and balanced trial which was his duty to the oath he took when he became an Attorney in a country that was founded on freedom.  Everyone is entitled to a fair trial.  And more times than not, his clients were innocent when he was a defense attorney.  And as surprisingly as it might sound, a lot of the time an attorney does not know for absolute certainty if his client is innocent or guilty. It’s all based on the evidence. He would always say, “No one likes lawyers UNTIL they need one.”  That is so true as I experienced our phone ringing at all hours of the night from people desperate for his help.  When a person finds themselves at the mercy of powerful enemies, lawyers become your lifeline and best friend. However, for our family’s welfare and protection, we were forced to change our landline to unlisted and he would only give out his cell phone number to his most trusted clients. The police were well aware of his position and would patrol our house on a regular basis.

The remarks I told you he said to me privately were very profound and ones you will come to understand as some of my stories unfold.  Understand, I am not telling you all of this to brag about my late husband. Instead, I tell you this because everything I put in writing will have an overwhelming impact on the trauma we went through.  It’s very important that you take note that there is an extreme amount of innocent people in prisons today. After having lived, experienced, and observed the battles from both sides of the courtroom for 31 years I have proclaimed myself a huge advocate of the Innocence Project.  My husband’s statements alone will become much more understood once I begin to write about the worst travesty that our family was made to endure for four years of our lives which grievously caused the worst tragedy that we will suffer for the rest of our lives.  During this time, I was continually encouraged to write a book about these experiences by my prayer partners because they said it was such an incredible and uncommon story. These ladies were the only people I shared this with because if someone wasn’t part of the justice system it would be difficult to comprehend the details and corruption of our legal system. After my husband died I revisited the choice of whether or not to write a book about this travesty. Believe me, I had so much anger inside of me I wanted to, but eventually I chose not to write it at that time for two reasons.  One, because it was so painful I couldn’t bring myself to relive all the suffering and grief as I would have to dive into my deepest emotions and bring them back to life.  Two, because when I met with one of my husband’s colleagues (one of the best criminal defense trial lawyers in our state) to seek his opinion, I asked him two questions, “Should I write this story?’  His answer, “Yes, I think it would be cathartic for you.”  Second question, “But will they come after me for spilling their illegal secrets and publishing it?  He paused and honestly replied, “Well Sandy, THAT IS THE BIG QUESTION.”   In other words, through his experiences, he knew as well as I did “they” certainly were the type of people who were capable of doing just that.  I could be putting myself and my family at great risk.  So, at that point in time, I chose not to tell it.  

But now, IT IS TIME.  I am finally ready to share, risks and all.  There is so much pain and anger I have suppressed for decades that I have no choice but to let it all come spilling out.  I choose to use my pen to unchain and release the suffering that has been kept locked up inside of me for so long. I’m finally ready to emotionally disclose the secrets of this travesty in honor of my late husband, a very Godly man and who most lawyers said was, “The most ethical lawyer they ever knew.” I have lived a very egregious life full of every emotion a person could experience.  I’ve been blessed in so many ways and yet sometimes I have felt cursed.  I have loved and been loved but I’ve also experienced great heartache.  I have been overcome with severe anxiety and depression.  I’ve been paralyzed by fear for both my family, as well as myself.

I’ve felt total helplessness and hopelessness caused by powerful corrupt people on the hunt for anything they could use against us.  I’ve experienced both feast and famine.  I’ve lived through grief over untimely deaths, and I’ve struggled with narcissistic people and relationships. I survived terrifying violence from the hands of someone I had been seeing, as well as, shocking violence from a former colleague.   And I had to learn to fight against malicious gossip that was meant to destroy.

Gratefully, during these times I’ve felt the mighty presence of God as I prayed and also experienced His personal communication with me. He made His presence known mostly during those times when I was so overcome with fear, anxiety and hopelessness that I didn’t feel I could go on.  And for that reason alone, my friends, I am still standing today.   

Some of the stories I will be writing might seem too hard to believe at times and that’s exactly why I’m writing it.  I want to open the eyes of the public to the façade we live in and expose reality.  My eyes were shockingly opened the hard way by experiencing it.   But I promise every story will be factual, raw, and authentic.  I don’t know exactly what format I will use for each story but I’m sure as I begin telling it each one will take on its own unique narrative.  I will not use real names of people or places for their protection and for mine.  However, I may and probably will include actual regions.    

 A writer can only write about what they know and it has taken a lifetime to be able to write something so unusual that at times will seem like fiction.  I promise you, it’s all completely true.  I wear the battle scars inside my soul and mask it with a smile.  However, when a writer puts themselves out there to the public to expose their inner feelings and private experiences it opens the door to complete vulnerability.  I have had moments when the night before my work was to be published I almost had it killed out of fear of judgment.  So, I ask that you will be kind and understand I am putting myself in a very fragile position.  But I will overcome that fear because in my heart I know that the time has come to release it to the world in order to gain freedom from my own personal prison.    

But more importantly, I pray somehow this website will provide comfort for anyone who is struggling through a very traumatic situation or a painful experience. My heart’s desire and ultimate purpose for sharing my experiences is that anyone who reads it will find HOPE as they seek to discover a safe place to land even if it’s just for a moment in time. 

So it’s very important to remember that this site is not just about tragedy. It’s about hope, healing and opening our eyes to see God’s blessings for us before, during and after the storms which is what happened to me. I understand how it sometimes feels as though God is absent during these tragic times. But take heart, He isn’t.

I want to end this particular blog with a blessing I never saw coming. After I became a widow, I did not begin dating until a year after his death out of respect for the relationship and because I was broken. Even after I began seeing different people I was just not interested in becoming serious with anyone. After eight difficult years of being alone, I had decided I did not want to marry again. I felt that being a widow was my lot in life. And it was extremely lonely. I had made the decision to stay single in December of 2023. Then in January of 2024, right out of the blue, God brought Ric to me. From the moment we met we knew we were soul mates. God had long planned for us to be together but it had to be on God’s time schedule. When Ric came into my life I went from survival mode to embracing life again. My world became filled with light and the darkness began to dissipate. Thanks be to God. Ric is now not only my adoring husband but he is my best friend, my prayer and faith partner, my protector, my encourager, biggest advocate and the only person who shares my quirky sense of humor which has led to countless hours of just sitting and laughing. He loves me deeply, and I love him with everything in me. So, if you are going through a very difficult time, do not lose hope. God is with you and He is hurting over your pain. Just hold on because you never know when the struggle will end and God will have an amazing blessing waiting for you just around the corner.

HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!

I sincerely care,

Sandy  

Warm greetings and a FRIENDLY WELCOME to all who are visiting my website!  I’m so glad you’re here.  It’s my wish that by sharing with you many of my traumatic experiences, along with your comments, we will all form a bond of hope and strength as we begin to understand each other’s journeys, hardships, and pain with the inclusion of how we overcame our tragedies.  I decided to create this site for the purpose of healing and hope.  Not just as a tool for my own healing process but for all others who in the past or at present are experiencing trauma and are in great need of hope and support.

By the way, I’m Sandy.  And I would like to invite you into my life.  I am a writer and a former columnist for a major newspaper.  I’ve done many things during my career such as broadcasting on television news, award winning advertising representative, award winning columnist, College Workshop Presenter, Philanthropist Specialist for a non-profit charity, Historical Docent, etc. Also, as of September 1, 2025 I will be launching my new children’s book, “A Train Named McSwain”. I will start taking pre-orders on September 15 (I already have 8 names).

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