So, does “Sandy Land” truly exist?  Well…..sort of.  It’s certainly a place everyone would want to be and never leave.  But is it a physical place you can visit? Uhmmmm……..No, not in the literal sense.

Let me describe “Sandy-Land” and tell you where this wonderful place is. Using the words of my late husband. “Sandy Land is a beautiful, tranquil place where everyone is kind. No one is intentionally mean and no one lies, manipulates or purposely causes harm. It’s full of loving friendships between people who truly care about each other while they also offer support for one another. No one gossips because they don’t want to cause harm. Everyone sees the best in each other. It’s full of luxury, beautiful things and global vacations. In Sandy Land you live in a big beautiful historical home, and you have a beach house and a mountain house without worry of cost. You drive the best cars that your husband picks out for you and has the dealership deliver each one to your front door so that you can drive it around for a few days in order to decide if you want it.

Your husband keeps gas in your car continually so that you don’t have to and hires housekeepers to clean all three houses.  A place where your children go to elite private schools, where they are given brand new cars for their 16th birthdays, take tennis lessons, swim with their friends, and enjoy wonderful meals at the Country Club and spend Spring Breaks in exotic global places and summers at the beach house.  A place where you don’t worry about paying for these things because your husband takes care of that.  Your husband lavishes you with big diamonds, beautiful jewelry and mink coats for no reason at all.'“   Sound wonderful?  Well…..it definitely is! 

How do I know?  I lived it for 23 years of my 31 year marriage until tragedy hit.  At that point, “Sandy Land” exploded, never to exist again.  I sometimes describe my life by separating it into two parts; before the first tragedy, I was living a fairytale but after that tragedy life became a nightmare for a very long period of time (and still haunts me). And yet, it was during this time I grew into a better person, a more mature Christian, and learned what the difference was between a frivolous problem and a REAL problem. It’s when I learned that any problem that did not include death, illness, loss, and powerful enemies hunting you down……..were not problems at all. From then on, I did not waste my time on the mere “bumps in the road”.

My late husband, teasingly came up with the term “Sandy-Land” and would humorously share it with my friends.  They would chuckle and agree.  He would use that term when my naive nature would burst forth after he would tell me factual harsh realities about a situation or some person and I would become adamant that a person could not be that intentionally mean.  Or, when I would think nothing of buying $1,000 worth of annual Spring flowers to spruce up our yard for a season or spend $12,000 on my children’s Christmas’ (example).  During these times he would say, “Oh….we’re going to Sandy-Land again.”  We all know that money does not grow on tree’s BUT he insisted that I believed it did in “Sandy Land”!  I’m telling on myself but it’s also important to me that you know that I am a huge Empath to a fault. No matter what anyone might say, I know I hurt deeply for others and will try to help in any way I can until I find myself in need. Leading a life in “Sandy Land” would certainly appear as though I would be very materialistic. But the actual truth is that I was not raised to desire extravagant things that I did not need. And I have held on to that value. I did not want materialism to become an obstacle that would hinder my Christian testimony.

There are two reasons why the “Sandy Land” term originated ; my deceased husband actually tried hard to shelter me from the harsh realities of the world and also the wickedness that he had to deal with in his profession, when he could. But that becomes hard to do since he was a public figure and dealt with crime every single day. But he kept me pretty sheltered to the wicked hearts of many.   And two; he genuinely loved to spoil me due to his his deep love for me.  He was a very generous man to everyone and that was his way of showing his love.  In all honesty, I never asked for those things.  But he wanted to spoil me.  And that he did. Constantly.  Unfortunately, once you begin living that way it just becomes normalized thus the term “Sandy Land”.  He would laughingly admit it was his own doing when he would tease me and say, “I’ve created a monster!” But it was all done out of love.

Also, please understand that also during this time I was honored and blessed to be able to give to many others who needed help and to the organizations that helped others. I knew God had blessed us with the ability to work in an occupation that included big pay checks. But this was always God’s money and because he entrusted us with it He also placed more accountability on us in how we used it. We were always trying to be good stewards with all of His priceless blessings.

So, when I had to come up with a name for my website, I wanted something sentimental to remind me and our children of those wonderful years, as well as, his sense of humor and generosity.  I wanted to honor him for his hard work and his strong desire to provide for his family and God’s family. I wanted to show admiration for his ability to do it all on his own without any help from anyone.   “Searching For Sandy Land” does not represent material things, it represents a search for peace, compassion for others, restoration of the heart, and a life still full of promise and happiness after barely surviving so many uncommon, tragic and destructive traumatic events that kept coming one right after the other since 2008 until I met Ric in 2024.  Those events were meant to destroy me and they nearly did, several times.   But I’m still standing and in the process I discovered that I am a survivor. And because of God’s guidance I have become a much stronger person and my faith is unshakeable.  So when you read the title “Searching For Sandy Land” please think of peace, tranquility, hope, and contentment.  That is what I am searching for but I know it cannot be attained without my close relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. 

I pray you will enjoy my blogs and that somehow through them you will find peace and gain the strength to endure your own personal journey.  After all, it’s the adversity of the journey that forces us to grow and mature in our faith while also enabling us to become more caring and better human beings.

Much love and hope,

Sandy

My late husband and I attending an intimate gala event held in honor of a European princess - late 1990s